You Shall Pursue

April 16, 2013

In Which I am Scared, and Sad

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , — marleyweiner @ 8:16 pm

So it’s another day, and I am still angry, and I am scared. I am scared because I saw what happened to this country after 9/11. I was just old enough to have some sense of the world, and then things changed here, and for the worst. And I am terrified, terrified, that something similar is going to happen again.

I don’t want to live in a country where domestic terrorism is dismissed as “mental illness” and we run with open arms toward jingoistic chauvinism at the slightest provocation. I am tired of my elected representatives favoring party rhetoric over meaningful change that will make the lives of the poor and disempowered better. I am so, so very tired of knowing, knowing that there are so many people who agree with me, who want peace and economic equality and dignity of work for everyone, and yet our economy is still shit and we are still killing each other. I am tired of violence, tired of hatred, tired of fear.

The voices of those acting out of anger and pain seem so very very loud. We call out for peace, and our voices are dwarfed by those who advocate for war, for violence, for destruction, for bloodshed. There is so much beauty in hands reaching out to hands, and yet so very little seems to change, to get better. When will the voice of love rise up and drown out the voice of hate?

April 15, 2013

Doer of Good and Creator of Evil

Filed under: Uncategorized — Tags: , , , , , — marleyweiner @ 11:24 pm

For the second time since I have started rabbinical school, the news is buzzing with some horrifying evil. Last time I found myself scared and sad. This time, I’m feeling pissed.

How dare the evil people of this world keep blowing away innocents? How dare they? I was speaking to a good friend today, and she is a runner, and now she is freaking out at the idea of doing this thing that she loves, because someone had to go and blow it up. And several months ago, I had to go through aching sadness every time I looked at my pupils because someone decided it would be a good idea to go and murder some kids. 

We were given this incredible capacity, as social animals. We are bonded to each other, we seek each other out for comfort and love. And we have great capacity for love. This beautiful piece by s.e. smith shows the power of our capacity for love and supporting one another in times of crisis. And that is a truly miraculous thing.

But our power to love each other gives us also the power to wound tremendously, the power to produce twisted, stunted, evil people who think that it is acceptable to hurt other people to deal with their own darkness, their own anger, their own vicious sick brokenness. I don’t claim to know what would drive someone to cause this sort of destruction. But this is a real a piece of the human condition as our capacity for love. And that is fucking enraging.

Why, oh Creator of the Universe, did you create us so imperfect? What was your plan, in making us so ready and willing to hurt each other?

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